Here is a snippet from chapter one:
Life… is not something I fear. There is a moment at the beginning that seems full of deep ignorance and innocence, but it is a lie. The truth is that life is hard, but we make it harder. Sure, there are problems and complications that are beyond our control, but it all comes back to a person making a bad decision. What would happen if one day, we all just stopped? There would be silence for sure, but there would also be no hope. At least when we are making decisions we have the option to choose right. We have hope for something good.
I hope for something good, but when I was born I didn’t really know what good was. I knew my mother and father, and I knew I could feel, taste, see, hear, and smell. I was alive, but I didn’t understand dead. This is how we all begin- with a deep connection to life and arms open to the world. We don’t see that the world is a dark place.
I have always been of the opinion that beginnings are beautiful- full of hope and a chance to start something with a fresh slate. But then, there is something horrible in that thought too. If the slate is clean, then how will we know what to write? The best way to start is to pick up a pen and write, but eventually it’s hard to see the difference between the lines.
In that moment, that fresh start, I didn’t care what came after. All I cared about was that there was an after. I would have frozen that moment if I could and just watched myself breeze through life. That was the beginning.